"I gave into you like I've never done."
- Silence (full lyrics)
This very first sentence from my song "Silence" says a lot about the story behind it.
It was the first song I wrote in Nashville in April 2016, with the help of Antoinette Olesen, with whom I chose to take songwriting lessons during my two-month stay in Music City. She taught me that one of the secrets behind a good song, is to reveal something strong from the first sentence, to make people "feel" what you are talking about right from the start and make them want to hear more of your story.
The starting point of "Silence" was actually another song I had taken with me in my luggage. A song I had written a year before, about something very strong. A deep, broken love story. But, somehow, that song sounded wrong... It was poor, it said nothing. And it was frustrating. I had experienced something so intense and painful, and the song was just not reaching up to my expectations. Unsatisfied, I brought this song to my first songwriting lesson and it was clear to both of us: there was so much missing to it.
It began with "There ain't much that I can say". Well, that says a lot about it, doesn't it? Trying to write a song and actually avoiding to say anything in it...! Isn't it ironic? And there was a reason of course. I was scared to expose myself, especially about something painful. Afraid that everyone would know what I was talking about... I was stuck, unable to put the right words to such intense feelings, those type of feelings you experience when that special love slowly fades away and your whole world crumbles. And I knew better than anyone that those feelings are what makes us want to listen to a song. To feel it.
Antoinette recommended I leave that initial song as it was, and write a new one. Why was this love so special? Was it love at first sight? What happened? What did it feel like? Why did it hurt so much? What did it look like? ... so many questions that the song that was to become "Silence" was relying on.
There I was, going back a few years in time to relive one of the most beautiful and at the same time painful experiences life had given me, a broken, intense love story. I embarked on this emotionally dangerous journey and Antoinette guided me to put the exact right words to the story. I suddenly felt that I was actually sharing a true piece of myself and not hiding behind a song that actually said nothing. My writing was being taken to a new level and for the first time, I was really happy with the result.
"Silence" marked the beginning of a new way of songwriting for me. Deep and somewhat disconcerting... I felt I could no longer hide behind so many walls, and it was beautiful and scary at the same time.